Lord, though I asked for this, I have fear about the responsibility I am going to make. Part of it is guilt because I always complain to my SV's before. And I don't want the people under me to feel the same way that I did. I don't want to be just like how I see them. I am afraid that I can't accomplish the tasks that are waiting for me. I don't even know how to lead people. I've been there a lot of times and I proved to be disappointing in terms of leadership. I never knew the proper way of teaching, or turning over of tasks. I'm afraid that the people who believed in me will just be disappointed or regret that they have promoted me. I'm afraid that my friends don't see me as a deserving person in this position. I really am afraid Lord.
I am also afraid that I will be wicked while I am in this position. Knowing the nature of my heart, I'm afraid that there is a chance of being boastful of what I have. I've proven it a lot of times and I've proven it again today. I know Ma'am Rosella was disappointed of my reaction when I saw the memo for GSA. I won't reason about it for I knew, it was the wickedness of my heart that led me to react like that.
But I still want to give my best. I've been waiting for this for so long. At least to be proud that I made it at my age, since I have a lot of competition everywhere. Lord, I want to give what is best in me and hopefully to be better than what I am at present. To continue in growing and to be more matured professionally. That's why just like Solomon ask of You Lord, "Give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil." I may not always be contented. But Lord, I know to myself that I don't crave for power or position or authority. I only want to receive what I think is deserved of me but not those things that I know I can never handle. So I ask for Your guidance Lord. That I may be able to do the responsibilities of this position based on what is good to Your eyes, and not based on what is authorized of me. I pray Lord to replace the fear that I have with an understanding heart and to be a matured employee. I pray Lord that I will be a LEADER to my team and not a BOSS. That I may lead them to giving their best and to help them improve their abilities and skills. Guide me Lord in my temper, in the words that I will say, and give me courage to face this responsibility that I now have.
All of this Lord I pray through the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior.
Amen.
